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SPECIALIS - :Hurts Me More Than You: [17]

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After leaving the Springs, it turned out that Link had, in fact, already been on his way to check on us and see how we were doing--or how far along we'd come so he could go galloping back to his girlfriend. Either way, he was almost at the doorway when it had opened, allowing Fi and me to exit.

Link's eyes were drawn to my collar, and I felt a warm sense of smugness overcome me. Yeah, just take a look at it, Mister Hero-Pants. Take it aaaaall in. His blue eyes went up to mine, "I take it you are feeling...well?"

I rolled my eyes, "Feeling better, that's for damn sure. Have you ever broken your foot or yanked your arm out of its socket? No? Didn't think so." He was silent for a time before straightening up and nodded, "It seems you are back to normal; are you able to walk?"

Shaking my feet for emphasis, I shrugged, "I walked all the way out here without a problem, didn't I?" He seemed to slide his eyes upward philosophically and placed a hand under his chin. "Yes, that makes sense..." As he trailed off, I nearly blew out a bunch of hot air. Geez, can't this guy take a joke? Where's his sense of humor? He looked back to me, "And what about our next destination? Was there another stone tablet?"

I blanked out and seemed to stare for a while; I'd completely forgotten about it! "It is here, Miss Jacqueline; I had removed it while you cleansed yourself." In truth, Fi had removed it after we had begun to march out the doorway, but to keep things to a minimum, in case we would erupt into another bickering argument about "destiny" and "homeward bound", she said something infactual instead. Almost without missing a beat, I took it and nodded, "Thank you, Fi." I looked at it for a while, seeing a orange-like stone near the corner of the broken piece. Looking at the shapes, I saw incomplete treelines and a large, gaping round circle. "...A...lake?"

Fi nodded, "Yes, Miss Jacqueline; however, the lake has long-since dried up since the passing of time and evil's domain slowly creeping up on this land. The waterline has decreased to the point of creating, no longer the Hylian Lake, but instead the Desert. The Lanayru Desert." Link nodded next to my head, "Then that is where Zelda will be going next." He immediately turned around and proceeded to head outside of the large room, and I sighed, shaking my head. "Things are happening so quickly..."

"Is anything wrong, Miss Jacqueline?" Fi looked to me, and I quickly shook my head, "It's fine...let's just go put this in place." I shoved my concern off to the side and followed Link out.

~~~~~~~~~Skyloft~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The birds carried us easily through the air, and the joy of flight kept my nagging thoughts at bay. When we landed and I dismounted, I felt the thoughts double; I didn't want to lose this! There were no birds big enough to carry people back on Earth! Why would I ever give this up? The Loftwing nudged me affectionately, seeking my palms for treats, and I found it a tasty morsel, stroking the bill. Fi had gone on ahead with Link to place the last piece of the tablet in, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

"...I can't lose this..." But you must. You're putting everyone in danger by being here. I sighed and bowed my head, closing my eyes and hugging the Loftwing.

"I thought I might find you here." A deep baritone voice sounded like a tuba, and my eyes snapped open to see Owl-Brows standing there. I didn't know what to say at first, but nodded, "..Hullo." He smiled, "Link has told me that you both have been in contact with my daughter, and that she's in safe hands."

"Yeess...." Apparently he didn't see my hesitation with the fact that important details were left out about the end of the world, and lots of monsters and apparently the embodiment of darkness Itself was after her, and that she was the instrument of the Goddess Hylia herself. Other important factors, that kind of thing. He smiled and nodded, "I am glad to hear that she is safe on the Surface. It's a pity I can't be reunited with my little girl...ah, but you both have done a lot already to keep her from coming to harm. I'd like to thank you sincerely, Jacqueline. You and Link have far-exceeded my expectations."

Oh, why'd you have to say that? The man had the underlying notion of wishing to be with his daughter, and I could sense some disappointment lying underneath there, even with his good nature and gratitude. His smile faded somewhat and he looked at me, "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to locate a way for you home just yet; the Surface is a vast place, and we can't afford to lend Loftwings, much less expect what the skies are like on the verge of the world." I exhaled gently, feeling a heavy weight bearing down on me. You won't have to wait long...I won't be here soon... I nodded, "That's fine...my homeland can wait."

He beamed, "That's good; please, do take care of my knight on the Surface; he's still fairly "green" to all of this, if you ask me." He snorted and chuckled at the joke, and I shook my head at the terrible pun. Still, it seemed to cheer him up as he left. I turned away to look to the ledge. A father, worrying for his daughter.

What's Dad thinking of right now... I looked up and saw a beam of orange amber light exploding up from through the clouds silently. That was where we would be heading next...right? Or would it be Link? "...I don't want this to end...it's not right." I brushed down the Loftwing before I heard him approach. Link came forwards and nodded, "Are you ready to take off? I've bought us provisions for the desert; Fi says that it will be without water where we're going."

I looked at him and nodded, "...Sure. Let's get going." Link began to dig through his belongings and paused, looking up at me almost curious. "Is everything all right, Jacqueline?"

My eyes blinked slowly, "Sure, everything's fine. Why?" Link glanced to the side for a moment and shook his head, "Nothing. We'll start moving now." He ran to the edge of the platform and leapt off, whistling for his bird. I mounted the Loftwing that belonged to Zelda and took off easily, catching up with Link's scarlet Loftwing. We flew side by side, knowing the usual agenda for reaching the realms from the air, and as he relayed these details to me, I nodded and grunted. We leaped off our Loftwings once we hovered over the openings in the clouds, using our diverse makeshift parachutes to carry us down.

Even as we went beneath the clouds, the cold, dead sense of dread and doubt wormed its way from my heart, and I felt alone and out of place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lanayru Desert~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we landed, it was surprisingly not hot. Aren't deserts supposed to be scorching at midday? The sun's really high up already! And yet it wasn't hot at all; almost perfect for surfing, actually, or anything else you wanted to do. I looked up and blinked; a cloud was dipping and flinching in the air; was that normal? I looked again and it had ceased to do so. Fi was also taking notice of it and looked to me, and we both nodded.

World Degeneration. It had reached here, as well; the weather and the temperature were different, and I could almost be certain that the deeper in the province we went, the more bizarre things would become. I looked around and saw a patch of green, but when I looked again, it was brown and rocky. Strange...

Oh, wait, Link was talking. "Jacqueline? I said we better get moving, and to be careful about the sand."

I started, "Wait, why?"

"You could slip in it." He emphasized and pushed his boot in, showing unstable footing. I looked and nodded, "Oh...yeah, right. That. Gotcha." He eyed me for a moment and turned around, making his way down the narrow tunnel-like route we had come upon as the starting of our journey. I sighed and followed, my thoughts engrossed in the thoughts about making it home, finding Zelda, the usual stuff.

I must have sighed once too many, because after I did so again, Link stopped and turned to me. "Jacqueline. Something's bothering you. And not in the way it usually does." I looked up, confused, "How does it usually bother me?"

Link gestured helplessly, "You usually complain and get angry about everything in general until you mention what the problem is. This silence is unlike you, and you seem to be uncomfortable by it."

"...Oh."

He looked at me seriously, "You need to tell me what's wrong. You seem conflicted." GEE, YOU THINK? I didn't look at him as I thought of how I was going to tell him. Fi looked at me silently, as if guessing my thoughts. "Miss Jacqueline...do you wish for me to explain it to him?"

I shook my head, "No, Fi...I should come clean." Link looked somewhat puzzled, seeing that Fi was in on my supposed-secret with me, and I forced myself to look at him in the eyes. Guilt welled up inside of me as the words left my mouth. "...I can't go with you any further."

~~~~~~~~~~~~The Truth~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link blinked, "What do you mean you can't come with me? I can't do this alone--"

I sighed irritably, "Yes, you can! These struggles, these temples, all of this was meant for you to do alone! I don't fit in here anywhere because I wasn't meant to!" Link looked at me with concern, "Jacqueline, if you are scared and worried that you have no value here..."

My head shook and caused him to falter in his words. "No, it's not that I don't feel I belong here--it's because I don't. My home isn't here. It never was." Link blinked slowly, "I don't understand...you said your home was on the Surface--"

"I lied, okay! I lied about my home being here on the Surface! This isn't even my world--I come from outer space!" Amidst the look on his face, confusion filtered through and I sighed, "The stars, dude. I come from there." I pointed up at the sky, Link's eyes following it, and as I brought it down, he took his time bringing his gaze back to mine. "Why would you tell a lie about where you were from?"

I folded my arms, "I didn't want to be cast off as an alien, or put in a cage, or seen differently...I was pretty unsure of where I was, anyway, and by the time I realized this wasn't my world, it was too late, and I just sort of...went with it, y'know?" Link didn't look to be too wounded by this at all; in fact, he only seemed sympathetic about the fact. "I grew up feeling I was different, too, so I suppose in a way that I know how you feel...you were scared, I bet." I nodded slightly, and he nodded, "Well...that's not something to be ashamed about...but that doesn't explain why you can't come with me. Why can't you continue?"

My chest pulsated with that cold, dead feeling and I winced. "I-I...am what's causing everything to go wrong...I'm supposed to go home. To leave this place, so that I don't continue making the world cave in on itself. The weather, the disasters, maybe even Zelda's current circumstances are because of me." I looked up at him, "It's because I was never meant to be here that everything's going wrong for you--you realize that you've never actually needed another person to complete the challenges in the temples, right? You could have found a way on your own; you've done it over and over again."

Link nodded without making a sound. Damn, I hated that. I continued, "So it's proof enough you don't need me along for the ride!" Link crossed his arms, "If that is the case, and you knew it, why did you come along instead of remaining in Skyloft? If what you're saying is true, you don't know the Surface at all, as you claimed to have at the start. I somewhat figured that was the case as we journeyed together."

I shook my head, "I...I had to find some way to keep myself from seen as useless; Gaebora said he would try to help me find a way home if I helped him find his daughter--which we have, but we haven't gotten her back to him yet. And I'm thinking that's probably not going to happen in the way we were hoping it would."

"I suppose not..." Link trailed off, hearing my secrets come tumbling out, one after the other. "And it's understandable why you sought a way home at the beginning...but why can you not continue here? Is it doubt?" I wanted to scream "yes", but that would have been a lie as well. I thought back to the old lady at the Temple, who had promised me that she would open the portal and send me home. By all accounts, I should be there now--but something on my conscience couldn't let me do that before I told him the truth. He had the right to know, at least, after I led everyone on a wild goose chase.

The shard pulsed uncomfortably and I felt my throat tighten. "...Before we went to Eldin...I went back to the Temple--where that Seal is and everything. The old lady knew about me, where I came from, and told me that..." I trailed off, unable to bring myself to say the ugly truth; somehow it hurt much more now than it would have been for me had I kept my stupid mouth shut. But a different sense took over me, and I placed myself in front of the firing squad. "...She told me that she would open a portal...and send me home. She's probably waiting for me right now."

Link's confusion slowly evaporated into a different look; something that I never knew I could see on his face. Something that I feared more than anything else I had ever encountered before.

Disappointment. Shame. And fury. All mixed together--betrayal. I had betrayed his trust, I could see the accusation simply radiating from him. Me, always accusing others for my mishappenings and turning their backs on me, had done the very same thing to him. My friend, my partner. I wondered what went through his mind, he was so silent. He finally nodded. "So...you have a way home, amidst all of this. In my opinion, I would suggest you take it and go home."

The calmness in his voice, of suppressed anger, sliced through me like a knife and pain flowed from my chest along with the dead, cold throbbing. It was like he had just thrown up a wall between us--or did I create that wall to begin with? Perhaps it was there, and he's merely reacting to the pain I caused him first...it was my fault. I swallowed, trying to control my voice and keep it from breaking, "...No, Link, it's not that--"

"Of course it's that, Jacqueline. It's always been that. It's all you've talked about; frankly, I can't blame you. It's what you're best at--focusing on the most important thing to you. I do the same thing. But I do it for a friend." Each phrase hit me harder than anything I'd faced before, and I could feel the struggles we went through together beginning to dissolve into despair. I felt my face getting hot and my eyes beginning to water and I tried to explain the situation, "I'm dangerous, Link--if I stay, I could ruin everything!"

There was a long stretch of silence between us, and when he spoke, it was soft and firm. "I would face the destruction of the world, now...than spend another moment...with someone like you." I felt cold. Cold all over; my gut, my chest, everywhere. So cold that I could feel wet, hot tears slowly bundling at the corners of my eyes. I didn't know what my face looked like, but my mouth was open and I felt horrified. Seeing his face, I could see the anger, but I could also see something else.

Dark sadness...he believed in me. And I had let him down. I made him believe I was actually someone worthy of getting to know. If only I hadn't focused on getting home so much! Why was I so selfish? Why did I say anything at all? Why was this happening? And why...why was I so broken and grieved?

And above all, why was I not changing my mind? Why was I just standing there, watching him walk through the sand silently? I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything right, and with each thought, that dead cold feeling clasped over my heart. I bowed my head, closing my eyes and allowing the moisture to fall from my face. I wouldn't cry openly, not like this. I didn't have the right. Not after what I had done.

"...Miss Jacqueline." I looked up to Fi, who had stayed behind with me. "...It is best...if we depart for the Temple, now." I looked her in the eyes, wanting to be comforted but too ashamed to ask for it. I knew she couldn't, either. "...Just go with Link, Fi...he's going to need you. I'm sure the desert is dangerous, and you're the only one who can help him, now."

"And yourself, miss Jacqueline? Your safety is just as vital."

"I don't really care. I'll be fine...I'll take the Loftwing and go to the Temple, and that will be the end of that." I went back up the hill, trudging with every step, and took off my jacket. Fi watched me as I prepared myself and summoned a wind without a word, carrying me up, up, and away from the ground. But the shame still followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Faron Temple~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stood before the old lady, who raised her head. "Aaah, you've come, child of fate."

"...Yeah." I was shocked at how dead my voice sounded. Funny how I could feel like this, after keeping myself locked away from others. This was the reason why I didn't make any friends. Why I didn't keep any--this new line of thinking was something I hadn't experienced in a long time. Why did I need to feel guilty? It made perfect sense, right? I just wanted to go home.

And yet I was breaking a promise and turning my back on my friends. I may not have been much use, or not as talented, but that didn't make me worthless. But what else could I do? What else would I be able to do, now that my friend was gone? I looked up as the old woman said gently, "I will open the way home to you now..." She turned and nodded to a stone tablet in the center of the Temple, something I had passed by time and time again. "Place your hand upon the stone...it will respond to your touch." Dully I did as she bid, a spark of curiosity still within me as I rested my hand fully on the back of the stone. Suddenly it began to shift and break apart like clockwork, jolting and fidgeting around itself until a great cogwheel formed, slowly rotating around and around. The inside of it inverted, forming a set of stairs leading to a tiny, bright light at the end of an inception tunnel. I marveled at it before bringing myself back to my senses; this was my way home? That was it?

...This was it. "...This is it." I said it, seeing the simplicity of the journey home and being shocked into silence. The deadened quiet stretched on, the old woman finding herself to stand behind me at a distance. "...Is something wrong, my dear?"

I turned to face her, conflicted. "...I...I don't know what to say." The old woman looked slowly to the portal before looking back up to me. "..Most choices in life are difficult, my dear. This one should be straightforward for you."

"I know! I know...." I sighed and hugged my arms, "...I know." I looked to the portal and inhaled deeply, approaching it and beginning to step in, but a nagging doubt rang in my ear like a shrill bell, and I faltered in my footing. I stepped back and looked back to the old woman. "...Why am I such a danger to this place, other than me being here? You told me you would tell me my value, last we chatted."

The old woman moved to stand at the portal next to me, looking up at me. "It is difficult for many to believe, but the link between worlds has always been possible by one era to another. I know this because I need to know, but I will not pass this information to the times to come. My time, after this world is saved, will be very brief. And soon I will pass on to serve my purpose again, but not as who I was as you see now."

I crossed my arms instead of hugging them and craned my neck at her, "What do you mean? Like some kind of rebirth? And what does that have to do with me?" She looked up at me and nodded slowly, "It was prophesied, since the beginning of time, when a Hero clad in green would save the realms over and over again; soon to be, the great essence of Darkness itself will set this into motion. It cannot be prevented.

However, even the Darkness does not want this to come to pass. It wants free reign over the realms until the end of time--but Light will always exist where there is Darkness. They need each other to balance, to maintain order, on either side of the spectrum." She looked to me as she spoke. "The existence of Light and Dark have been ever present; the symbol of Light in this era have been the spirit maiden, the promise of renewal, and the First Hero, your companion."

I nodded slowly, "And I guess whatever represents Darkness is that pale creep and that dark monster in the courtyard?" The old lady nodded slowly, her coiled hair swinging to and fro like a pendulum. "That is correct--the Darkness and Light are balanced already in their feud, always capable of conquering each other. Not all eras will succeed in the future, and thus will breed into new times to carry on the legacy beyond our eyes."

"So...I guess me being here is upsetting that balance?" The old woman nodded again, "Yes, my dear--you are an upset mixture of both Light and Darkness, prone to react to both. A heart of Light to be yet corrupted by Darkness, and perhaps won over by it. Who is to say which will triumph?"

"But why is my heart so damned important to either side? I'm just a failure dropout in college! I really don't make much of an impact here!" I didn't know what the woman was playing at, and this wasn't really winning me over. She smiled, "You matter a great deal, my dear, because your role is not that of an average character in this world of fate." She looked towards the portal, "Unknown to all, the links between your world and ours seldom connect, but as they do, they bring along an important figure that would already exist within our own timeline. If that were to occur, the one in this world would vanish or go to your world until you were returned."

I blinked, "Ssssooo...my doppelganger or twin or something is already on the other side? Who am I here?" The old woman shook her head, "In due time...I am getting there, child." She looked through the portal, "The only reason this is possible is because you were called to this land for a reason, Jacqueline--a reason that your interference would prove beneficial, although many would look upon it as strange and frightening, as the world is already shifting and transforming out of balance. Your identity is crucial on both sides, and having great important already added too much to one side. Two of you, both being on one side of the gate, are tipping the scales into utter destruction--"

My hands were waving wildly, "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait--two of us? Where's my copy? They're here? Who are they?" The woman looked up to me.

"Your equal is--"
Turning your back on others hurts more than turning back on yourself because you're already dead inside...

For the readers, no, I am not an angry individual. I'm very pleasant to be around, I love to be with people and socialize with them. I love to write, to game, to explore, and I love my family very much. I am very much Christian and love the Lord a lot. In this edition, I wanted to take a different perspective on story-making and was inspired by a game to write this. If you have questions now, please do hold off on them until the next chapter comes out. More than likely, you'll begin to draw your own conclusions as more information is released to you. Trust me, you'll begin to understand the further the story goes.

I understand if you don't favorite the chapter for harsh language, and I am sorry if I have truly offended anyone out there. It isn't my intention to offend anyone. If I have intrigued you, however, I will be enthusiastic. I plan to continue the series, and I hope to do so with your help. If you have any suggestions or comments to make, make them below this information window in the comment box. If they happen to be insulting, I'll simply just delete them. Nothing personal; just delete them. I don't care. w00t!

So! Without further ado, I will probably be working on the next chapter! Follow more of my works in the gallery!

Oh, and by the way--Specialis is "secret" in Latin.

SPECIALIS - :Life Gives You Lemons: [1]<---Where This All Begins---<
SPECIALIS - :Home is Where the Heart Is: [18]<---Next Chapter---<
SPECIALIS - :Pain In Knowing: [16]<---Previous Chapter---<
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CaptainForestFalcon's avatar
Wow, can really say I wasn't expect things to take this turn. Go from Skyloft to Lanayru to the portal back home in the matter of a single chapter? With regards to Lanayru desert, that makes pretty good sense with the World degeneration, go from an extra hot volcano to a surprisingly not burning desert. I was then going to make some comment on wondering about how it effects the past version of Lanayru before she tells Link the truth about her origin. He actually was taking it exceptionally well, up until the point where she says that she can actually leave right now. If you were going to actually have let her go through the portal back to her world and end things like this between her and Link, I would legitimately be upset. But anyway, we're going to be hearing about Jaq's twin of sorts from this world so I'm just going to continue in the next chapter.